Wedding Traditions & Ceremonies
Wedding traditions vary from country to country. Even within a country, there could be variations among regions based on tribal, ethnicity, cultural and religious affiliations Despite differences, wedding traditions from all over proved that humans are social beings supporting one another towards the success of society, especially in the formation of its basic unit– the family, which starts with the union of husband and wife. In fact in many cultures, wedding is demonstrated as the merging of two families and not just the newlyweds. Regardless of the wedding rituals performed, everybody wishes the newlyweds the best in their new journey…happiness, prosperity and fecundity/fertility. The bride and groom promises continued love, support and fidelity to one another.
Let us travel to the different parts of the world and have a peek at some remarkable wedding rites.
Japanese Wedding
Traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are usually performed in Shrines or Chapels. Visibly declaring her maiden status, the bride-to-be is painted in pure white from head to toe. She wears a white silk kimono and an ornamented headpiece inviting good luck. A white hood is attached to the kimono which a bride wears like a veil to hide her ‘horns of jealousy’ from the groom’s mother. Japanese groom wears black silk kimono. The wedding ceremony itself is either Shinto or Buddhist.
During a Shinto wedding the earth’s natural spirits are asked to bless the newlyweds after a purification ceremony using a special branch called harai-gushi. In a Buddhist ceremony, the bride and groom walk down the aisle holding a juju, which is a string of 21 beads representing the couple, their families and Buddha. The string of beads also symbolizes the joining of the two families. The couple then bows in front of either a Buddha image or a lama and recite prayers, and light incense and candles. They then make an offering, which can be anything from food to medicine. If lamas are present, they also wear loops of string, and recite blessings for the bride and groom. Finally, red paste is applied to the foreheads of the couple.
For both Shinto and Buddhist weddings, san-san-kudo is performed. While the bride and groom exchange vows, their families face each other. The bride and groom drinks sake, rice wine nine times to signify their promise to be dedicated to each other before they are considered united. Families and friends also drink sake then the father of the bride and groom introduce their respective family members.
During the wedding reception, the bride changes into a red kimono and again later into a western-style gown to participate in games, skits and karaoke with family and friends. Guests are expected to offer the couple goshugi or money in a festive envelope.
French-Canadian Wedding
On their wedding day, the groom and his friends and relatives meet the bride at her house. Together with the bride’s parents, they travel to the church in a procession of cars, some of which are decorated for the wedding celebration. Honking their horns and yelling out the windows, friends and relatives will be telling everyone about the wedding. The people they will come across will shout their good wishes back, and offer advice and friendly kidding as they parade through the entire town. The entire wedding assembly enters the church together upon arrival.
During their reception, unmarried brothers and sisters of the bride and groom performs a quirky dance wearing elaborately colorful or ugly socks, to the accompaniment of a special tune. Guests will throw money at the dancers as they hop and move around comically. The money is then given to the bride and groom, to help them start their household. It is common to find the words “presentation only” in the invitation. This means that the bride and groom request the guest to bring money for the couple instead of other forms of gifts.
Egyptian Muslim Wedding
Up to this day, many weddings in Egypt are still arranged, but that is starting to change in the more metropolitan areas. The suitor’s family proposes to the bride and upon agreement of the two families, the groom-to-be pays an amount of money to the bride-to-be’s family. The money is called Mahr which will be used to purchase furniture and jewelry called Shabka. The groom-to-be puts a wedding ring on the right ring finger of his fiancée who is usually wearing a pink or blue gown. The wedding ring traditionally symbolizes the immortality of the old and new world.
Just before the wedding, women get together at the bride’s house for a ‘Henna Party’ where they dance and sing. Mosaic designs in henna mark the hands and feet of the bride. The next day, the marriage contract is signed by the groom at the ceremony along with the family of the bride and other witnesses. The bride waits in another room for the contract to be brought to her for approval. Passages of the Quran and Kitbah (formal betrothal) are read during this ceremony which may take place in a mosque, in a hotel, or at the home of one of the couple’s family.
After sunset, the wedding party starts and the couple wears their best dresses and jewelry. The ring is then shifted from the right to the left hand. Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day for good luck.
Traditionally, the bride’s family does all the cooking for a week after the wedding so the newlyweds can relax.
Dutch Wedding
Traditionally before the wedding day, families of the Dutch bride and groom host a party. They have them sit on a throne, beneath the pines, as their guests come to bless them and wish them happiness. Pine tree is a symbol of fertility and luck for the Dutch. On her wedding day, the bride wears the traditional white dress with veil and gloves, while the groom is clad with an inherited outfit passed on through generations. Contrary to western practice of having the bridegroom wait for the bride in the church, Dutch bride and her party enter the church first and it is only then that the bridegroom and his parents can enter. Two traditional items served at a marriage celebration in Holland are sweetmeats called, “bridal sugar” and spiced wine known as “bride’s tears.” After a Dutch wedding, newlyweds plant lilies-of-the-valley around their house. This tradition symbolizes “the return of happiness” and the couple can then celebrate and renew their love with each blooming season.
Filipino Wedding
Most Christian marriages in the Philippines are not arranged. The bride wears a white wedding gown with veil and the groom wears a Barong Tagalog, the traditional Filipino dress. As the newlyweds exit the church, they are showered with rice and/or confetti and then they release a pair of white doves to signify a peaceful and harmonious marital relationship. Doves are sometimes released in the reception venue. Prosperity dance or money dance is performed by the couple while relatives and friends pin peso (or dollar) bills on their clothing. Oftentimes, the families of the bride and groom make this a contest as to which family can pin more until the end of the dance but the newlyweds are always the winner for they bring home all the money given to them.
Hindu Wedding
There are many fascinating ceremonies and symbolisms in Hindu wedding traditions but my three favorites are the following:
Let us start with Mangalphera wherein the bride and groom walk around the fire four times in a clockwise direction representing their four goals in life: Dharma- religious and moral duties; Artha-prosperity; Kama- earthly pleasures and Moksha- spiritual salvation and liberation. The bride leads the Pheras to signify her determination to stand first beside her husband in all happiness and sorrow.
The next ritual is called Saptapardi wherein the couple walks seven steps together to signify the beginning of their journey through life together. Each step represents a marital vow as follows:
1) To respect and honor each other,
2) share each other’s joy and sorrow,
3) trust and be loyal to each other,
4) cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service,
5) reconfirm their vow of purity, love family duties and spiritual growth,
6) follow the principles of Dharma (righteousness), and
7) to nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love.
The third one is called Sindhoor. The groom applies a small red dot of vermilion, to his bride’s forehead, between the two eyebrows and welcomes her as his partner for life. The spot where the ornamental mark is placed is considered a major nerve point in human body since ancient times. This red dot or bindi is arguably the most visually fascinating of all forms of body decoration, applied for the first time to a woman during her marriage ceremony by no other than her groom. It is an auspicious sign of marriage and guarantees the social status and sanctity of the institution of marriage.
Polish Wedding
During the wedding reception, there are two unique traditions done by Polish.
1. The bread and salt blessing is an old and most popular Polish wedding tradition. The parents of the bride and groom greet them with bread slightly sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. With the bread, the parents are hoping that their children will never get hungry. Salt reminds the couple life’s difficulty and that they should learn to cope. It is also believed that salt has the power to heal and cleanse, uncover thieves, protect houses against fire, dispel storms and hail, and drive away evil spirits. With the wine, it is hoped that the couple will never go thirsty, and that their life will be filled with health and happiness. After the bride and groom each taste a piece of bread and sip the wine, they break the plate and glass for good luck.
2. The unveiling and capping ceremony, called oczepiny represents the rite of passage from young woman to married woman. The bride’s mother and female relatives unbraid her hair and cover it with czepek or white bonnet. At this moment, the bride is officially considered a married woman.
Korean Wedding
Modern Korean women would prefer wearing the western white bridal gown for her wedding ceremony, but will change later into a hanbok to participate in Korean wedding customs during reception.
The hanbok for women is made of two basic pieces: the wrap-around skirt or chima and the jacket called jeogori. Together they are often referred to as the chima-jeogori. For ceremonial wedding attire, the bride would wear a lime-green wonsam or hwarrot, also known as the flower robe over the hanbok. On the bride’s head is a black cap studded with gems. She wears white socks and embroidered shoes on her feet. Her makeup is simple, except for three red nickel-sized circles on her face called, yonji konji. These circles, traditionally made of red peppers, supposed to ward off evil spirits, are now often drawn on.
The groom wears traditional pants and shirt called paji and cheogori, respectively. The paji had wide legs as baggier pants so he can comfortably sit on the floor. Two straps of cloth, called daenim bound the cuffs of the paji around the ankles, which leave the black cloth boots called mokwha, exposed. A jacket usually of blue or maroon is tied by a belt called gakdae. Competing the attire is a samo, a stiff cap with wings on the sides.
Highlights of the Korean wedding customs include sharing of a special white wine called jung jong. Traditionally, this wine is poured into cups made from two halves of a gourd grown by the bride’s mother. The couple sips from their separate gourd cups and then the wine is mixed together, poured back into the gourd cups and then they sip again. This is kunbere, the wedding vow. The groom offers a goose to his mother-in-law as a symbol of his fidelity to her daughter. Live goose is now replaced with wooden one called kirogi. Goose is said to take only one partner in its life. The bride offers her in-laws dried dates and ¬jujubes that represent children. Towards the ceremony’s conclusion, they then toss the dates and chestnuts at the bride, and she tries to catch them in her large skirt. The number that she catches represents the children she will bear as fruit of their union
Muslim world marriage customs
In the Muslim world, marriage customs and traditions vary as much as the colors in a rainbow.
All retain the Islamic obligatory acts, which make a marriage valid and include other practices, which are individual to their surrounding cultures.
Here are customs from some parts of the Muslim world. Please note: not all Muslim marriage customs are necessarily in line with Islamic values.
India and Pakistan
In the Indian subcontinent, a marriage is reserved to three days of customs and traditions.
The Mehndi is the event where you put henna on the bride and groom’s hands. Marked by traditional songs and dances, it sometimes extends to two days – one day over at the groom’s place to put henna on his hand and the second day over at the bride’s house to put henna on hers.
The actual Nikah is called a Shadi, which is traditionally done by the bride’s side. This is the signing of official paperwork in the presence of an Imam.
After signing these papers and doing some religious ceremony, the couple is declared husband and wife. To celebrate, guests eat of the many lavish dishes that are served.
To announce the marriage officially the Walima takes place as a feast given by the groom’s family. Both husband and wife welcome the guests and mingle with them while people eat dinner.
The United Arab Emirates (UAE)
As a tradition in the UAE, the setting of the wedding date marks the beginning of the bride’s preparation for her wedding.
Although the groom is also put through a series of preparations, the bride’s are more elaborate and time consuming.
She is lavished with all sorts of traditional oils and perfumes from head to toe. Traditionally, she is not seen for forty days by anyone except for family members as she rests at home in preparation for her wedding day.
During the week which precedes the wedding, traditional music, continuous singing and dancing take place, reflecting the joy shared by the bride and the groom’s families.
Laylat Al Henna (literally, the night of the henna), which takes place a few days before, is very special night for the bride, since it is a ladies’ night only.
On this night, the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with henna. The back-to-back feasts and celebrations involve both men and women who usually celebrate separately.
Egypt
Egypt has been exposed to many civilizations, such as the Greek, Roman and Islamic ones. The marriage customs of Egyptians make it easy for a couple to get to know one another, for the families meet often.
It starts by the suitor’s parents visiting his fiancee’s house to get her family approval to complete the marriage and reaching an agreement, which contains two main items: an amount of money, called Mahr, paid by the suitor to his fiancee’s family to help them prepare the furniture of their daughter and a valuable jewelry gift, called Shabka, given by the suitor to his fiancee. The value of this gift depends on the financial and social levels of the suitor’s family.
When the two parties complete the agreement, they fix an appointed date for the engagement party.
When the house of the new family becomes ready, the two families fix a date for the wedding party.
The night before wedding day, the relatives, friends and neighbors get together to celebrate “the Henna Night”.
The next day, the marriage contract is signed and registered. After sunset, the wedding party starts and the couple wears their best dresses and jewelry.
Malaysia
In the Malaysian tradition, the bride and groom are treated as “king and queen for a day”.
During the betrothal, the pre-wedding meeting between the bride and the groom’s parents, the dowry that will be given to the bride is determined as well as the date of the solemnization.
The berinai (henna application) ceremony is held prior to the wedding. The bride’s palms and feet are ‘decorated’ with the dye from the henna leaves.
Akad Nikah, which is the signing of the contract, is normally presided over by a Kadhi, a religious official of the Syariat (Shariat) Court. A small sum of money called the Mas Kahwin seals the contract.
The recent trend is to hold the solemnization in the mosque as was performed during the Prophet Muhammad’s (peace and blessings be upon him) time.
Singapore
In the tradition of Singapore, the Mak Andam (beautician) as well as members of the bride’s family will waylay the groom and ask for an ‘entrance fee after the bride is ready.
Only when they are satisfied with the amount would they allow the groom to see his bride.
After successfully overcoming the ‘obstacles’, the marriage ceremonies take place. Relatives sprinkle petals and rice (fertility symbols) on the couple seated on the ‘throne’.
Jewish wedding
Jewish law enjoins the entire community to bring joy and happiness to both the Kallah (bride) and Choson (groom).
Most of the laws and customs relating to the wedding ceremony, its preparations and Seudas Mitzvah (festive reception meal) date back to our Patriarchs and the giving of the Torah at Sinai.
Wedding tip: after buying your wedding shoes, don’t leave them in the closet or the shoe box until the wedding. Wear them! To work, around the house, while shopping. This way they will be “broken in” and your feet won’t hurt from dancing in new shoes.
There may be those who are somewhat unfamiliar with the procedures, laws and customs of what takes place at a traditional wedding. The following is a brief guide to some of the laws and customs of marriage. It is our fervent hope that this will enhance your knowledge and add to your appreciation of the traditional Chassidic wedding.
The Talmud teaches that, originally man and woman were created as a single being. According to tradition, Adam and Eve were created on the sixth day of creation as Siamese twins. G-d then separated the two forming Eve from Adam’s side. Thus, man and woman i.e. husband and wife began as a single entity. Togetherness is their natural state. Their love stems from this natural tendency to be one. Our sages tell us that prior to the marriage neither man nor woman is considered a complete entity. The marriage is the joining of the two halves – man and woman – into one complete wholesome being.
To take it a step further, we are taught in Chassidic philosophy that upon birth each body contains a portion of one soul, and at the marriage the two parts unite as one once again. Thus, it is at the time of the wedding that the creation of bride and groom is completed and is therefore, such a meritorious occasion.
The wedding day has, for both the bride and groom, all the sanctity and solemnity of Yom Kippur. Both have fasted until after the chuppah ceremony through which time they seek G-d’s forgiveness for any past wrongdoings.
The groom, who dons a kittel (white robe) under the chuppah, and the bride in her gown, are attired in white symbolizing angelic purity and freedom from sin. They pray that the Al-mighty “open a new gate for us as the old gate is closed” so that their new life together evolves from a pure and fresh beginning. During each day of their marriage the bride and groom will strive to grow and adjust to each other in order to establish the foundation for a Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisrael – a faithful Jewish home.
Let us travel to the different parts of the world and have a peek at some remarkable wedding rites.
Japanese Wedding
Traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are usually performed in Shrines or Chapels. Visibly declaring her maiden status, the bride-to-be is painted in pure white from head to toe. She wears a white silk kimono and an ornamented headpiece inviting good luck. A white hood is attached to the kimono which a bride wears like a veil to hide her ‘horns of jealousy’ from the groom’s mother. Japanese groom wears black silk kimono. The wedding ceremony itself is either Shinto or Buddhist.
During a Shinto wedding the earth’s natural spirits are asked to bless the newlyweds after a purification ceremony using a special branch called harai-gushi. In a Buddhist ceremony, the bride and groom walk down the aisle holding a juju, which is a string of 21 beads representing the couple, their families and Buddha. The string of beads also symbolizes the joining of the two families. The couple then bows in front of either a Buddha image or a lama and recite prayers, and light incense and candles. They then make an offering, which can be anything from food to medicine. If lamas are present, they also wear loops of string, and recite blessings for the bride and groom. Finally, red paste is applied to the foreheads of the couple.
For both Shinto and Buddhist weddings, san-san-kudo is performed. While the bride and groom exchange vows, their families face each other. The bride and groom drinks sake, rice wine nine times to signify their promise to be dedicated to each other before they are considered united. Families and friends also drink sake then the father of the bride and groom introduce their respective family members.
During the wedding reception, the bride changes into a red kimono and again later into a western-style gown to participate in games, skits and karaoke with family and friends. Guests are expected to offer the couple goshugi or money in a festive envelope.
French-Canadian Wedding
On their wedding day, the groom and his friends and relatives meet the bride at her house. Together with the bride’s parents, they travel to the church in a procession of cars, some of which are decorated for the wedding celebration. Honking their horns and yelling out the windows, friends and relatives will be telling everyone about the wedding. The people they will come across will shout their good wishes back, and offer advice and friendly kidding as they parade through the entire town. The entire wedding assembly enters the church together upon arrival.
During their reception, unmarried brothers and sisters of the bride and groom performs a quirky dance wearing elaborately colorful or ugly socks, to the accompaniment of a special tune. Guests will throw money at the dancers as they hop and move around comically. The money is then given to the bride and groom, to help them start their household. It is common to find the words “presentation only” in the invitation. This means that the bride and groom request the guest to bring money for the couple instead of other forms of gifts.
Egyptian Muslim Wedding
Up to this day, many weddings in Egypt are still arranged, but that is starting to change in the more metropolitan areas. The suitor’s family proposes to the bride and upon agreement of the two families, the groom-to-be pays an amount of money to the bride-to-be’s family. The money is called Mahr which will be used to purchase furniture and jewelry called Shabka. The groom-to-be puts a wedding ring on the right ring finger of his fiancée who is usually wearing a pink or blue gown. The wedding ring traditionally symbolizes the immortality of the old and new world.
Just before the wedding, women get together at the bride’s house for a ‘Henna Party’ where they dance and sing. Mosaic designs in henna mark the hands and feet of the bride. The next day, the marriage contract is signed by the groom at the ceremony along with the family of the bride and other witnesses. The bride waits in another room for the contract to be brought to her for approval. Passages of the Quran and Kitbah (formal betrothal) are read during this ceremony which may take place in a mosque, in a hotel, or at the home of one of the couple’s family.
After sunset, the wedding party starts and the couple wears their best dresses and jewelry. The ring is then shifted from the right to the left hand. Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day for good luck.
Traditionally, the bride’s family does all the cooking for a week after the wedding so the newlyweds can relax.
Dutch Wedding
Traditionally before the wedding day, families of the Dutch bride and groom host a party. They have them sit on a throne, beneath the pines, as their guests come to bless them and wish them happiness. Pine tree is a symbol of fertility and luck for the Dutch. On her wedding day, the bride wears the traditional white dress with veil and gloves, while the groom is clad with an inherited outfit passed on through generations. Contrary to western practice of having the bridegroom wait for the bride in the church, Dutch bride and her party enter the church first and it is only then that the bridegroom and his parents can enter. Two traditional items served at a marriage celebration in Holland are sweetmeats called, “bridal sugar” and spiced wine known as “bride’s tears.” After a Dutch wedding, newlyweds plant lilies-of-the-valley around their house. This tradition symbolizes “the return of happiness” and the couple can then celebrate and renew their love with each blooming season.
Filipino Wedding
Most Christian marriages in the Philippines are not arranged. The bride wears a white wedding gown with veil and the groom wears a Barong Tagalog, the traditional Filipino dress. As the newlyweds exit the church, they are showered with rice and/or confetti and then they release a pair of white doves to signify a peaceful and harmonious marital relationship. Doves are sometimes released in the reception venue. Prosperity dance or money dance is performed by the couple while relatives and friends pin peso (or dollar) bills on their clothing. Oftentimes, the families of the bride and groom make this a contest as to which family can pin more until the end of the dance but the newlyweds are always the winner for they bring home all the money given to them.
Hindu Wedding
There are many fascinating ceremonies and symbolisms in Hindu wedding traditions but my three favorites are the following:
Let us start with Mangalphera wherein the bride and groom walk around the fire four times in a clockwise direction representing their four goals in life: Dharma- religious and moral duties; Artha-prosperity; Kama- earthly pleasures and Moksha- spiritual salvation and liberation. The bride leads the Pheras to signify her determination to stand first beside her husband in all happiness and sorrow.
The next ritual is called Saptapardi wherein the couple walks seven steps together to signify the beginning of their journey through life together. Each step represents a marital vow as follows:
1) To respect and honor each other,
2) share each other’s joy and sorrow,
3) trust and be loyal to each other,
4) cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service,
5) reconfirm their vow of purity, love family duties and spiritual growth,
6) follow the principles of Dharma (righteousness), and
7) to nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love.
The third one is called Sindhoor. The groom applies a small red dot of vermilion, to his bride’s forehead, between the two eyebrows and welcomes her as his partner for life. The spot where the ornamental mark is placed is considered a major nerve point in human body since ancient times. This red dot or bindi is arguably the most visually fascinating of all forms of body decoration, applied for the first time to a woman during her marriage ceremony by no other than her groom. It is an auspicious sign of marriage and guarantees the social status and sanctity of the institution of marriage.
Polish Wedding
During the wedding reception, there are two unique traditions done by Polish.
1. The bread and salt blessing is an old and most popular Polish wedding tradition. The parents of the bride and groom greet them with bread slightly sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. With the bread, the parents are hoping that their children will never get hungry. Salt reminds the couple life’s difficulty and that they should learn to cope. It is also believed that salt has the power to heal and cleanse, uncover thieves, protect houses against fire, dispel storms and hail, and drive away evil spirits. With the wine, it is hoped that the couple will never go thirsty, and that their life will be filled with health and happiness. After the bride and groom each taste a piece of bread and sip the wine, they break the plate and glass for good luck.
2. The unveiling and capping ceremony, called oczepiny represents the rite of passage from young woman to married woman. The bride’s mother and female relatives unbraid her hair and cover it with czepek or white bonnet. At this moment, the bride is officially considered a married woman.
Korean Wedding
Modern Korean women would prefer wearing the western white bridal gown for her wedding ceremony, but will change later into a hanbok to participate in Korean wedding customs during reception.
The hanbok for women is made of two basic pieces: the wrap-around skirt or chima and the jacket called jeogori. Together they are often referred to as the chima-jeogori. For ceremonial wedding attire, the bride would wear a lime-green wonsam or hwarrot, also known as the flower robe over the hanbok. On the bride’s head is a black cap studded with gems. She wears white socks and embroidered shoes on her feet. Her makeup is simple, except for three red nickel-sized circles on her face called, yonji konji. These circles, traditionally made of red peppers, supposed to ward off evil spirits, are now often drawn on.
The groom wears traditional pants and shirt called paji and cheogori, respectively. The paji had wide legs as baggier pants so he can comfortably sit on the floor. Two straps of cloth, called daenim bound the cuffs of the paji around the ankles, which leave the black cloth boots called mokwha, exposed. A jacket usually of blue or maroon is tied by a belt called gakdae. Competing the attire is a samo, a stiff cap with wings on the sides.
Highlights of the Korean wedding customs include sharing of a special white wine called jung jong. Traditionally, this wine is poured into cups made from two halves of a gourd grown by the bride’s mother. The couple sips from their separate gourd cups and then the wine is mixed together, poured back into the gourd cups and then they sip again. This is kunbere, the wedding vow. The groom offers a goose to his mother-in-law as a symbol of his fidelity to her daughter. Live goose is now replaced with wooden one called kirogi. Goose is said to take only one partner in its life. The bride offers her in-laws dried dates and ¬jujubes that represent children. Towards the ceremony’s conclusion, they then toss the dates and chestnuts at the bride, and she tries to catch them in her large skirt. The number that she catches represents the children she will bear as fruit of their union
Muslim world marriage customs
In the Muslim world, marriage customs and traditions vary as much as the colors in a rainbow.
All retain the Islamic obligatory acts, which make a marriage valid and include other practices, which are individual to their surrounding cultures.
Here are customs from some parts of the Muslim world. Please note: not all Muslim marriage customs are necessarily in line with Islamic values.
India and Pakistan
In the Indian subcontinent, a marriage is reserved to three days of customs and traditions.
The Mehndi is the event where you put henna on the bride and groom’s hands. Marked by traditional songs and dances, it sometimes extends to two days – one day over at the groom’s place to put henna on his hand and the second day over at the bride’s house to put henna on hers.
The actual Nikah is called a Shadi, which is traditionally done by the bride’s side. This is the signing of official paperwork in the presence of an Imam.
After signing these papers and doing some religious ceremony, the couple is declared husband and wife. To celebrate, guests eat of the many lavish dishes that are served.
To announce the marriage officially the Walima takes place as a feast given by the groom’s family. Both husband and wife welcome the guests and mingle with them while people eat dinner.
The United Arab Emirates (UAE)
As a tradition in the UAE, the setting of the wedding date marks the beginning of the bride’s preparation for her wedding.
Although the groom is also put through a series of preparations, the bride’s are more elaborate and time consuming.
She is lavished with all sorts of traditional oils and perfumes from head to toe. Traditionally, she is not seen for forty days by anyone except for family members as she rests at home in preparation for her wedding day.
During the week which precedes the wedding, traditional music, continuous singing and dancing take place, reflecting the joy shared by the bride and the groom’s families.
Laylat Al Henna (literally, the night of the henna), which takes place a few days before, is very special night for the bride, since it is a ladies’ night only.
On this night, the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with henna. The back-to-back feasts and celebrations involve both men and women who usually celebrate separately.
Egypt
Egypt has been exposed to many civilizations, such as the Greek, Roman and Islamic ones. The marriage customs of Egyptians make it easy for a couple to get to know one another, for the families meet often.
It starts by the suitor’s parents visiting his fiancee’s house to get her family approval to complete the marriage and reaching an agreement, which contains two main items: an amount of money, called Mahr, paid by the suitor to his fiancee’s family to help them prepare the furniture of their daughter and a valuable jewelry gift, called Shabka, given by the suitor to his fiancee. The value of this gift depends on the financial and social levels of the suitor’s family.
When the two parties complete the agreement, they fix an appointed date for the engagement party.
When the house of the new family becomes ready, the two families fix a date for the wedding party.
The night before wedding day, the relatives, friends and neighbors get together to celebrate “the Henna Night”.
The next day, the marriage contract is signed and registered. After sunset, the wedding party starts and the couple wears their best dresses and jewelry.
Malaysia
In the Malaysian tradition, the bride and groom are treated as “king and queen for a day”.
During the betrothal, the pre-wedding meeting between the bride and the groom’s parents, the dowry that will be given to the bride is determined as well as the date of the solemnization.
The berinai (henna application) ceremony is held prior to the wedding. The bride’s palms and feet are ‘decorated’ with the dye from the henna leaves.
Akad Nikah, which is the signing of the contract, is normally presided over by a Kadhi, a religious official of the Syariat (Shariat) Court. A small sum of money called the Mas Kahwin seals the contract.
The recent trend is to hold the solemnization in the mosque as was performed during the Prophet Muhammad’s (peace and blessings be upon him) time.
Singapore
In the tradition of Singapore, the Mak Andam (beautician) as well as members of the bride’s family will waylay the groom and ask for an ‘entrance fee after the bride is ready.
Only when they are satisfied with the amount would they allow the groom to see his bride.
After successfully overcoming the ‘obstacles’, the marriage ceremonies take place. Relatives sprinkle petals and rice (fertility symbols) on the couple seated on the ‘throne’.
Jewish wedding
Jewish law enjoins the entire community to bring joy and happiness to both the Kallah (bride) and Choson (groom).
Most of the laws and customs relating to the wedding ceremony, its preparations and Seudas Mitzvah (festive reception meal) date back to our Patriarchs and the giving of the Torah at Sinai.
Wedding tip: after buying your wedding shoes, don’t leave them in the closet or the shoe box until the wedding. Wear them! To work, around the house, while shopping. This way they will be “broken in” and your feet won’t hurt from dancing in new shoes.
There may be those who are somewhat unfamiliar with the procedures, laws and customs of what takes place at a traditional wedding. The following is a brief guide to some of the laws and customs of marriage. It is our fervent hope that this will enhance your knowledge and add to your appreciation of the traditional Chassidic wedding.
The Talmud teaches that, originally man and woman were created as a single being. According to tradition, Adam and Eve were created on the sixth day of creation as Siamese twins. G-d then separated the two forming Eve from Adam’s side. Thus, man and woman i.e. husband and wife began as a single entity. Togetherness is their natural state. Their love stems from this natural tendency to be one. Our sages tell us that prior to the marriage neither man nor woman is considered a complete entity. The marriage is the joining of the two halves – man and woman – into one complete wholesome being.
To take it a step further, we are taught in Chassidic philosophy that upon birth each body contains a portion of one soul, and at the marriage the two parts unite as one once again. Thus, it is at the time of the wedding that the creation of bride and groom is completed and is therefore, such a meritorious occasion.
The wedding day has, for both the bride and groom, all the sanctity and solemnity of Yom Kippur. Both have fasted until after the chuppah ceremony through which time they seek G-d’s forgiveness for any past wrongdoings.
The groom, who dons a kittel (white robe) under the chuppah, and the bride in her gown, are attired in white symbolizing angelic purity and freedom from sin. They pray that the Al-mighty “open a new gate for us as the old gate is closed” so that their new life together evolves from a pure and fresh beginning. During each day of their marriage the bride and groom will strive to grow and adjust to each other in order to establish the foundation for a Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisrael – a faithful Jewish home.
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